So I am back on the train to Penn Station and much has happened since last I blogged. I saw my grandmother and my father, as well as a few aunts, uncles and cousins. I was a little surprised that things felt as familiar as they did. Seeing my grandmother was not easy. I expected that she would not be cognizant on any level, but I was disturbed to see how emaciated and withered she looked. Her breathing was very labored and it seemed like each breath would be her final gasp of air. Yet in spite of how she looked, I still saw my Grandma in there. And I didn’t feel like quite the stranger I thought I was going feel like.

We spent a few hours in the hospital, then we went back to my Uncle’s house for a little while. I broached the subject of “what next” and tried to figure out my plans for the next week. Should I just stay or go? Unfortunately with the situation being what it wa, there were not answers to be had. So I decided to go back to Jersey and get my things, while still considering my options. So my Aunt and my dad dropped me off at the train station so I could head back to the city and meet Shaun—who was waiting patiently in the city

But… as soon as the train started moving, I got a call from my dad. Grandma had passed away.

So I am going back to L.A. today to get my work done. Then I will return to NY for the funeral services.

Rest easy, Grandma. I’m so sorry I hardly knew ya.

b