Just thought I'd offer up the next chapter of Sex Offenders... Enjoy!
Mae gets home and heads straight for the bath. She takes a long, hot shower and tries not to think about how Danny is faring. For a while she occupies her mind with memories of relationships past, but uncharacteristically finds them old and stale. So, she goes over her finances instead. But, without the benefit of a waterproof checkbook, there is only so much book balancing that she can do. She then tries planning her next vacation, but without someone to go with, she sure as hell isn't going to Hawaii with Joan anymore, the idea of a vacation just makes her feel alone. She even compiles a Christmas card list, making sure to cross Joan off of it, even though it is four months away.
Yet after all this mind wandering, her thoughts returns to the subject of Danny. This time she gives in, replaying the evening in her head from beginning to end. She runs through it four times, editing Edwin and Joan out a little more each time. By the time her shower runs out of hot water, Mae has a complete revisionist version of the evening with no trace of Edwin or Joan. She goes to bed with Danny still on her mind, and in the half hour it takes to fall asleep, not once does she think about her long-standing rule against dating coworkers.
During the night, Danny has a dream about Mae. In the dream he is also sleeping on the couch, although the apartment is different for no particular reason. Mae enters from outside, using her own key to get in. Wearing only underpants, she slinks over and starts kissing him. She pulls up his blanket, revealing his naked body. She climbs on top of him, pulling the blanket over them, her flesh pressed against his. He wakes up and kisses her back, their passion escalating into fondling. He rips her underpants off with unnatural strength, allowing their naughty parts to touch. She reaches down and begins to fondle his genitals. The heat of their foreplay is so realistic that he begins to wonder if he is even dreaming at all.
The overwhelming sensation caused by her dream manipulation of his penis causes him to actually wake him up. But instead of snapping out of the wet dream and finding himself alone, he finds it is really happening, except that it is Joan, not Mae, on top of him. He feels the weight of her naked body against his. He feels the wetness of her tongue on his neck. His hands instinctively grope handfuls of her flesh. Slowly his dormant cognitive abilities return to him and he is able to step outside himself to see what is going on. He realizes that he is not fooling around with Mae, and that it is Joan who is orally engaging his privates.
Danny gently but firmly pushes her face away from his nether region.
“No. Stop.” He manages to say.
“Are you gonna cum? Already?”
“It's okay, go ahead and cum.” She tries to continue her work, but he squirms free. He pulls himself out from under her and grabs the blanket to cover himself.
“What's wrong?” Joan is confused and hurt by his repulsion. “Didn't you like it?”
Danny, not sure how to respond, says nothing. He grabs his clothes and starts to get dressed. Joan is absolutely flabbergasted by his actions.
“I don't understand.” She says.
“It's not you, it's me.” Danny tries to explain. “I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea about things.”
Danny looks up and sees the hurt in her face. Joan, in the midst of the most embarrassing experience of her life, feels the overwhelming need to cry. Instead, she bites her lip, refusing to make matters worse.
“I should go.” Joan gets up and goes back into the bedroom to get dressed. Rather than feel violated, Danny starts to feel guilty for hurting her feelings. He feels awful, as though he is the one who has wronged her. He even tries to justify her actions in some way, considering the possibility that he may have inadvertently led her on. He concedes that it is possible that she misconstrued his intentions, when he allowed her passage into his apartment. He decides to apologize for whatever he may have done.
She returns to the living room, fully clothed, and Danny offers to drive her home. She declines at first, but Danny's persistence gets her to agree to at least let him take her back to Hardballs to get her car. His last words are a heartfelt apology for hurting her feelings.
Not a single word passes between them the rest of the night. He drops her off at her car and returns home. Exhausted and slightly disturbed, he wraps himself up in an old blanket and reflects on the bizarre evening. He doesn't sleep for the rest of the night, overcome with the guilt because somehow, however irrational, he feels like he has been unfaithful to Mae.
Edwin Rolle wakes up with a hangover. The splitting pain, a hundred proof hatchet lodged in his brain, is so strong that he doesn't notice the warm naked body sleeping beside him. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, checks the time on his bedside clock radio. Even though he is already a half hour late for work, he is slow to rise, because he doesn't burden himself with such trivial matters as getting to work on time. He stretches out his arms, then his legs, accidentally brushing against the callused feet that are attached to the mystery guest he was previously not aware of. His first thought is that whoever this person is, she is in dire need of a loufah. It then occurs to him that he has no recollection of what happened last night, and doesn't know the identity of the owner of those poorly maintained feet. Before he checks to see who it is, he confidently bets himself that it is Mae. After all, he is Edwin Rolle.
One glance at the sizable lump beneath the covers, and he knows that he is dead wrong. Edwin is by no means a physicist, but even he can tell that the mass underneath his blanket is too large to be Mae. He leans over and is surprised to see Henrietta Budge sleeping peacefully beside him.
While he is a little disappointed that his conquest of Mae failed, at least he saw some action, so there is nothing for him to be ashamed of. He is a big believer in the philosophy that there is no such thing as bad press, so it doesn't bother him that he slept with a less attractive woman who could generously be described as Ruebenesque. Sexual intercourse is one of the few instances where he shows absolutely no bias. Of course he prefers super models to super-sizers, but he is not one to turn away either when it comes right down to it. He considers it altruistic to bestow his lovemaking gifts on those less fortunate, who might otherwise never get to experience such ecstasy. So, even though he has not yet docked his ship in Mae's port, he declares the previous evening a success, even if he can't remember it.