Sunday, July 29, 2007


Hi all...

I'm sitting here at LAX, waiting for my ON TIME Delta flight. So I thought I would hook you all up with a lovely real time picture of myself. It's in snazzy sepia tone because... well, because I'm feelin sepia this morning.

Feel free to download this photo and share it with your friends. Heck, make a T-shirt out of it!

Click the photo if you can't get enough of this pic and you really need to see it 2X larger.



Hello all my beautiful people...

As luck would have it, I am taking my 5th trip in the last 2 months... this time a place in Mexico called Tepic. Now for those Mexican geography enthusiasts this will be old news, but Tepic is as city in the state of Nayarit. And where is Nayarit? As far as I know its a couple hours from Puerto Vallarta... which I'm pretty sure is in the central part of the country.

You will all be happy to know that I am NOT taking American Airlines. This time it's Delta, baby, so I think I have a much better shot at getting some on time flights! Sorry dad, but American has not been kind to me lately. My flight is at 7:15 AM, so we have to mosey on out of here by 4:40 AM. I managed to sleep from 2:15 to 3:40, so I am well rested as you can imagine.

For those of you wondering, this is a scouting trip I am taking with Xochil. We are scouting for property in Mexico, which I know very little about... so don't ask for details. When I get back I should have a bunch more information, which I will gladly share.

The only downside of this trip is that we are going to miss Paris... AND I am going to be breaking my two week routine of going to the gym. Hopefully I won't lose the ridiculous amounts of muscle mass I have gained in the last 14 days. he he...

Anyway, it's time to go... WISH US LUCK!!!!


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Chapter 7

Hi all..

Just thought I'd offer up the next chapter of Sex Offenders... Enjoy!

Chapter 7

Mae gets home and heads straight for the bath. She takes a long, hot shower and tries not to think about how Danny is faring. For a while she occupies her mind with memories of relationships past, but uncharacteristically finds them old and stale. So, she goes over her finances instead. But, without the benefit of a waterproof checkbook, there is only so much book balancing that she can do. She then tries planning her next vacation, but without someone to go with, she sure as hell isn't going to Hawaii with Joan anymore, the idea of a vacation just makes her feel alone. She even compiles a Christmas card list, making sure to cross Joan off of it, even though it is four months away.

Yet after all this mind wandering, her thoughts returns to the subject of Danny. This time she gives in, replaying the evening in her head from beginning to end. She runs through it four times, editing Edwin and Joan out a little more each time. By the time her shower runs out of hot water, Mae has a complete revisionist version of the evening with no trace of Edwin or Joan. She goes to bed with Danny still on her mind, and in the half hour it takes to fall asleep, not once does she think about her long-standing rule against dating coworkers.

During the night, Danny has a dream about Mae. In the dream he is also sleeping on the couch, although the apartment is different for no particular reason. Mae enters from outside, using her own key to get in. Wearing only underpants, she slinks over and starts kissing him. She pulls up his blanket, revealing his naked body. She climbs on top of him, pulling the blanket over them, her flesh pressed against his. He wakes up and kisses her back, their passion escalating into fondling. He rips her underpants off with unnatural strength, allowing their naughty parts to touch. She reaches down and begins to fondle his genitals. The heat of their foreplay is so realistic that he begins to wonder if he is even dreaming at all.

The overwhelming sensation caused by her dream manipulation of his penis causes him to actually wake him up. But instead of snapping out of the wet dream and finding himself alone, he finds it is really happening, except that it is Joan, not Mae, on top of him. He feels the weight of her naked body against his. He feels the wetness of her tongue on his neck. His hands instinctively grope handfuls of her flesh. Slowly his dormant cognitive abilities return to him and he is able to step outside himself to see what is going on. He realizes that he is not fooling around with Mae, and that it is Joan who is orally engaging his privates.

Danny gently but firmly pushes her face away from his nether region.

“No. Stop.” He manages to say.

“Are you gonna cum? Already?”


“It's okay, go ahead and cum.” She tries to continue her work, but he squirms free. He pulls himself out from under her and grabs the blanket to cover himself.

“What's wrong?” Joan is confused and hurt by his repulsion. “Didn't you like it?”

Danny, not sure how to respond, says nothing. He grabs his clothes and starts to get dressed. Joan is absolutely flabbergasted by his actions.

“I don't understand.” She says.

“It's not you, it's me.” Danny tries to explain. “I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea about things.”

Danny looks up and sees the hurt in her face. Joan, in the midst of the most embarrassing experience of her life, feels the overwhelming need to cry. Instead, she bites her lip, refusing to make matters worse.

“I should go.” Joan gets up and goes back into the bedroom to get dressed. Rather than feel violated, Danny starts to feel guilty for hurting her feelings. He feels awful, as though he is the one who has wronged her. He even tries to justify her actions in some way, considering the possibility that he may have inadvertently led her on. He concedes that it is possible that she misconstrued his intentions, when he allowed her passage into his apartment. He decides to apologize for whatever he may have done.

She returns to the living room, fully clothed, and Danny offers to drive her home. She declines at first, but Danny's persistence gets her to agree to at least let him take her back to Hardballs to get her car. His last words are a heartfelt apology for hurting her feelings.

Not a single word passes between them the rest of the night. He drops her off at her car and returns home. Exhausted and slightly disturbed, he wraps himself up in an old blanket and reflects on the bizarre evening. He doesn't sleep for the rest of the night, overcome with the guilt because somehow, however irrational, he feels like he has been unfaithful to Mae.
Edwin Rolle wakes up with a hangover. The splitting pain, a hundred proof hatchet lodged in his brain, is so strong that he doesn't notice the warm naked body sleeping beside him. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, checks the time on his bedside clock radio. Even though he is already a half hour late for work, he is slow to rise, because he doesn't burden himself with such trivial matters as getting to work on time. He stretches out his arms, then his legs, accidentally brushing against the callused feet that are attached to the mystery guest he was previously not aware of. His first thought is that whoever this person is, she is in dire need of a loufah. It then occurs to him that he has no recollection of what happened last night, and doesn't know the identity of the owner of those poorly maintained feet. Before he checks to see who it is, he confidently bets himself that it is Mae. After all, he is Edwin Rolle.

One glance at the sizable lump beneath the covers, and he knows that he is dead wrong. Edwin is by no means a physicist, but even he can tell that the mass underneath his blanket is too large to be Mae. He leans over and is surprised to see Henrietta Budge sleeping peacefully beside him.

While he is a little disappointed that his conquest of Mae failed, at least he saw some action, so there is nothing for him to be ashamed of. He is a big believer in the philosophy that there is no such thing as bad press, so it doesn't bother him that he slept with a less attractive woman who could generously be described as Ruebenesque. Sexual intercourse is one of the few instances where he shows absolutely no bias. Of course he prefers super models to super-sizers, but he is not one to turn away either when it comes right down to it. He considers it altruistic to bestow his lovemaking gifts on those less fortunate, who might otherwise never get to experience such ecstasy. So, even though he has not yet docked his ship in Mae's port, he declares the previous evening a success, even if he can't remember it.

Monday, July 23, 2007


Hi all

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately... I've been REALLY busy with a lot of things that aren't blogworthy.

I'm trying to catch up on my work and my writing and honestly... I haven't been doing a good job. So I apologize to those who have been patiently waiting for my inane ramblings. I still plan to post up some photos of my DR trip, but I'm not going to commit to a time since I blew the last few blog commitment I made (which makes me an unreliablogger).

I guess I can post a couple right now as an offer of good will...


Sunday, July 08, 2007


Hi all...

For all those interested,my script "Lowlifes" failed to make the Top 10 in the Writers on the Storm screenwriting contest.

Those bastards! I think there was some obvious racism at play. :)


Saturday, July 07, 2007


Hi all... I'm finally back home from the DR and in front of my computer where I can freely (actually it's 25 bucks a month) partake of the world wide web. I did a little remote blogging while I was there, so I will post that first. Then later on today I will finish off the final day of my trip... or what I like to call the LONG ROAD BACK!

Take a trip back in time with me as we rejoin our heroes at Miami International Airport where the Pasillas family is in danger of NOT making the flight to Punta Cana....

Okay, I'll save you the suspense (since this was over a week ago)... You’ll be happy to know that Luis and his family DID get on the flight, so we all made it safely to Punta Cana. Unfortunately, our luggage did not. Those bastards at MIA didn’t load any of our luggage onto the plane. That really sucked because there were NO more flights to Punta Cana until the next morning. So day one pretty much ended like this…

It took us 17.5 hours to get to Punta Cana from Los Angeles. That’s 17.5 hours of no sleep (for me) and the SAME CLOTHES. And when we got to the resort we checked out their clothing shop and they wanted 30 bucks for a T-shirt, 60 bucks for men’s swimming trunks, and 80 bucks for a bikini. So needless to say we wore the same clothes for the entire day and I was forced to spend 7 bucks for toothpaste and ONE toothbrush.

Do you wish you were here yet?

Our room turned out to be decent and we have the luxury of 3 beds (one for Paris, one for Pilar and one for Xochil and I). Luis on the other hand ended up with ONE BED for FOUR PEOPLE. And to think, he is a member of the club and is sporting the VIP wristband.

All things considered it was a nice restful day filled with food, sun, alcoholic beverages, and cigars… and I mean a lot of cigars.

The day started with a shower and back into the same clothes (yuck) for the third consecutive day (Wed evening, Thursday travel day, and Friday). There was of course the promise that our bags would be landing in Punta Cana at 11:45 AM and be delivered right to us.

Of course that promise was broken.

First of all, the 8:55 AM flight out of MIA did not leave Miami until 11AM… which got the plane into Punta Cana by 1:30PM. Of course our bags weren’t directly delivered to our hotel. Even after many phone calls and lousy customer service interventions (actually American Airlines customer service could use an intervention), our bags were still M.I.A. The pervading rumor/lie was that they were on some mysterious BUS that was “on its way”. That turned into more unfulfilled promises of our bags getting to the hotel no later than 3pm, 4pm, 5pm… and finally 6pm.

None of that happened.

But let me back up a little and explain the rest of the day. Xochil and I decided to go buy some friggin clothes, so we took the advice of a porter and took a hotel bus to the “shopping center”. I bought an overpriced but undersized T-Shirt and Xochil managed to find a tank top and a sarong type wrap around thing that she wore as a dress. On the way back we decided to get dropped off just outside the hotel grounds, where there was one of those blocks with a bunch of hole in the wall type boutiques/shops. We found clothes much cheaper there, but had spent most of the money I brought along on the bus trip. I had decided to take only 100 bucks and leave the rest of my money and my wallet in my room, so that if were led astray and got jacked, I wouldn’t be losing all my shit.

At this little mom and pop shopping area, we were greeted by an ambitious but friendly shop owner named “Mike”. He gave Xochil and I free good luck necklaces (which hasn’t delivered on that promise yet) and proceeded to sell us coffee beans and cigars.

Xochil and I walked back the 7 minutes to our hotel room and changed into these lovely new clothes…. After our umpteenth showers of course! Xochil felt better, but I was in the same underpants and shorts and starting to feel like a contestant on SURVIVOR… or maybe more like an extra on LOST. Anyway, after having to put on the same underpants for the umpteenth time (after the umpteenth shower) I vowed to retire these draws for good. No washing machine and back onto the front lines… these bad boys were going to get a military funeral and perhaps a memorial of some sort. They served their time well and never complained. God bless those drawers!

Anyway, we all drank a lot and I smoked at least 5 cigars on day two… then we went back to the business of trying to get our luggage. A very helpful employee of the resort was able to get into contact with someone who personally watched them load the luggage into a van… and finally at 6:30PM our luggage was on the way. So I waited outside the hotel until 7:30 PM when the bags finally arrived.

I have never been so happy to get my own stuff. And I’d also like to mention that my entire suitcase was full of new clothes, purchased especially for the trip.

This was the first of five LOVELY vacation days spent doing the same sorts of Caribbean vacation type things: eating, sunning, swimming, reading, writing, drinking, and smoking cigars. The only thing of note that happened to me was that one of the employees of the resort offered to sell me pot, cocaine or any other kind of narcotic that I might have wanted. Too bad for him that I gave up smack for lent.

More eating, sunning, swimming, reading, writing, drinking, and smoking cigars…

Still more eating, sunning, swimming, reading, writing, drinking, and smoking cigars…

Do you see a pattern yet? Lots more resorty Caribbean vacation stuff that is fun to do but not so much fun to blog about.

The same as the other days but with red, white and blue balloons commemorating 231 years of states that are united (not in the Dominican Republic, in America) and free from the clutches of the evil Empire (British, not Star Wars).

Okay... that takes us to July 5th and our LONG TRIP HOME... I'll be back later with tales and photos to astonish...