Friday, May 04, 2007



Well, I meant to get some blogging in before embarking upon my trip to the city of my birth, but a bunch of menial stuff got in the way-- not that there was much going on that was blogworthy, I just thought I needed to give myself a send off.

So here I am one hour into my one and a half hour late American Airlines intercontinental flight…. Wait, is it intercontinental or transcontinental? Or is it both? No… the more I think of it, the more I think it should be INTRA-continental. Whatever, the point is that the flight is late.

I wanted to sleep away the hours, but haven’t been able to find a comfortable position within the confines of my narrow-ass, no leg-room having coach seat. But hey, at least its an aisle seat and I don’t have to ride bitch between a pair of chubby bookends—don’t laugh, its happened. Below are a couple highlights of my trip so far…

1. Turned down the opportunity to pay 2 dollars for a headset so I could watch some incredibly lame looking movie starring Hugh Grant and The World’s Most Beautiful Person (according to People—not me) Drew Barrymore. I think its called Music and Lyrics or some such crap.
2. Was forced to endure the smell of hard boiled eggs for a half hour as this lady sitting one row up from me devoured SIX hard-boiled eggs that she had stashed in her purse. Watching (and smelling) this woman peel and eat six eggs made me wonder if she ate all of her eggs, or if this strange lady with the bleached out Debbie Harry hair had a bag full of eggs. Like maybe all she had in her purse was boiled eggs… dozens of boiled eggs. Sadly I will never know for sure. The other thing about the egg incident is that I wondered for some time whether anyone sitting near me thought I was the source of the egg smell. I mean when I first smelled it (before locating the egg lady) I considered the possibility that it was me. You might think that makes me paranoid, but I think it’s a testament to the strength and fortitude of the smell..
4. I spent five dollars on the most generic looking and tasting bagel/turkey/cheese sandwich EVER. It actually looked like the toy food that comes in little kid’s play kitchens… and it tasted only slightly better.
5. FYI, the egg lady just got up to go to the bathroom. I’m gonna time her and see how long she is OCCUPIED.
6.I got my SODOKU on for a little while, compliments of the inflight magazine. Now I’m not one of those Sodoku freaks or anything, but I figure it’s as good a way as any to eat up some of this flight time.
7. I got a face full of unattractive flight attendant ass thanks to some turbulence.

Anyway, those are pretty much the highlights so far. More later…

Oh, and the egg lady only spent ten minutes in the bathroom. I don’t know about you, but I’m strangely disappointed….


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