Tuesday, June 19, 2007


I'm back and ready to take that trip down memory lane. I'm sorry it has taken so long, but perhaps the extra time will enable me to get that added level of perspective that will take the story from pedestrian to pulitzer. Pulitzer?! Uhm, I may be overstating the case a little. Whatever... moving right along...

Okay, so we last left our heroes enroute to Brenda's house and my collision course with the worst Chinese food ever. But before we get there I have to introduce the next round of participants...

After meeting up with the rest of the family we mosied on to the now legendary Chinese restuarant (whose name escapes me). Luckily it was lunch time so we were able to order from the lunch specials menu. Now when I say "lucky" I mean that we were lucky to not have paid full price for the most god awful Chinese food in history (not counting restaurants that use dog,cat and rat meat of course). I ordered the lunch special that was allegedly made up of sweet and sour pork and spicy chicken, along with fried rice and egg drop soup. When the food arrived it... well... I guess a picture is worth a thousand words, so... it looked like this...

If you look closely at my plate, you will notice a reddish sauce over both the chicken and pork, which was peculiar since one was supposed to be sweet and sour and one was supposed to be spicy sauce (of what kind I'm not sure). But being as hungry as I was (having been up since 4:30AM with only a scone and a tiny bag of airplane served banana chips in my belly) I started to chow down on the strange looking fried meats. It was only after I had consumed a good portion of the food that my taste buds registered a complaint. I stopped eating and then all at once it hit me... my food tasted like... CHERRY PIE.

I have absolutely nothing against cherry pie... I like cherry pie. The thing is, I like my cherry pie to be vegeterian. Yeah, meatless cherry pie is the way to go, minus the side of shitty fried rice. So I stopped eating immediately, and although I was completely grossed out, the meal did achieve the objective of taking away my hunger. Unfortunately it also took away my desire to ever eat anything again. But even more unfortunately, that feeling was fleeting because 8 hours later Steve, Mom and I ended up at a sub-mediocre BBQ place for a late night meal of grade C meats slathered with passable BBQ sauce.

Oh and just so you don't think my meal was the only one that sucked ass...

That meal belonged to Steve... and no he didn't order the chicken with apple cobbler on top, that piece of pure culinary perfection was strangely called "almond chicken".

Oh, and lest you think that my food went to waste... it did not. My cousin Jessie and her boyfriend (sorry I don't remember his name) were more than happy to finish my cherry chicken and pork pie. Pictured below...

So there you have it. Although I probably should state again for the record that they served us a platter of cocktail sauce with the food, and saltines with the phlegmy egg drop soup.

I hope you enjoyed that trip down memory lane. I'll be back later to continue with the longest account of a weekend ever. But before I go I will leave you with one of my many picture series from that weekend.

And for the interactive portion of this blog, you can feel free to leave a comment with your title for this picture series.


  1. I'm all choked up just thinking about it.

  2. How can Spokane make it up to you?
    I know! Lets go to Taco Time